Cluttered Vision

Yesterday my daughter and I got our eyes examined.  I of course was a chicken and squeamish when it came to putting in the eye drops, but the eye drops were far less scary then the puff of air they used to use.  My daughter did very well, particularly considering how easily and majorly she usually freaks out at sudden changes and lots of verbal input.  Both of our eyes were exhausted at the end of it all.  And the dilated pupils was just too freaky to see on her..and in the mirror of myself.  I felt like I’d had too much to drink, only without any of the “fun” to get there.

I, of course, needed a stronger prescription.  Though I also went from the minimum for driving (20/40) to more middle ground (20/30).  It’s been kind of annoying trying to drive somewhere new and not being able to see the street names/numbers unless I’m right up on it already.  Also, I’ve come to dislike going to fast food restaurants cuz I want something different than normal, but I can’t see the menu nor the prices.  (just stop going to fast food restaurants DUH)  My prescription for 20/30 glasses came out to:

OD:  Sphere -3.75; Cylinder +1.20

OS:  Sphere -3.5o; Cylinder +1.70

Manta was prescribed some glasses as well.    Her prescription came out to:

OD:  Sphere -1.00; Cylinder -0.50

OS:  Sphere -1.25;  Cylinder -0.25

We didn’t like the frames that our insurance covers (dshs, medicare, medicaid) so we splurged and bought some $40 frames.

Anyways, I’m pretty upset that Manta is now at risk for that ever downward spiral of eyesight that comes with using prescriptive lenses.  So in my search for glasses alternatives, I found something called pinhole glasses.  Basically it’s a way that she would be able to see the blackboard at school without wanting to keep the glasses on for other work, as well as something to help for computer/reading eye strain.  But before I get something like that for her, I gotta test it on myself so I can see how/if it works or not. 

I already spend a lot of time without my glasses on.  Particularly when I go for my walks and such.  I hate that I have to wear them when I want to sit at the computer (that’s how nearsighted I am!!) or when i want to do any housework/decluttering.  Sometimes I wear them for reading as well, but only when I’m actually trying to study a topic.  Fiction books get read without glasses.  And I have to have them on if I want to get notes from a book written out quickly.  It takes too long to do it all without glasses, and the mess is unbearable.  However, I’m hoping that with the pinhole glasses, I’d be able to watch tv, be on the computer, do my reading/notetaking, and do my decluttering and simple housecleaning without the use of the prescribed lenses.  And maybe even, eventually without the pinhole glasses, either.

I also love the idea of not having to go through that pain of transitioning between with glasses to without glasses back to with glasses.  If these pinhole glasses work like I’ve read, then I will only need to wear my prescriptive lenses for driving. (which is about 1-2 times a week).

I ordered this pair:  http://www.clearvisionhawaii.com/WAIKIKI.HTM#WABG  I look forward to their arrival.  Meanwhile I’ve increased my windows fonts as well as browser page fonts so that they are bigger.  Though many sites I still have to zoom in to about 150% or more so that I can see it without my glasses.  But that is actually annoying because then there is a ton of scrolling and very very slow reading.  I’ve not the patience for that.

I do intend to find my natural eyesight book (it’s somewhere in a box in the extra room).  I want to print off the wall chart as well as the book chart so that I can keep track of any improvements or degenerations that may occur while I check these out.  I think I’ll even make a page here to keep track of it all.

Clearer Home, Clearer Mind

I’m having to set aside my guitar learning and really really make a dent in the clutter in our home.  I feel as if a huge amount of psychological energy is wasted by the nagging little thoughts of “gotta clean that”, “you should really put those things away”, “would you pick up your toys already?”, “don’t let the cats in the room cuz they’ll get into some of the stuff laying around”, “no, don’t look there, it’ll just make you feel bad again”, “shit, I hope I’ll never have to suddenly move cuz there’s no way I could ever pack/move/sort through all this crap in time”, and “gah, why am i so freakin drained all the time??”  Yes, there are actually reasons for those thoughts, and many more thoughts along with them.  But basically, it takes a lot of energy to sort through clutter, to find something amidst the clutter, and yes, to even avoid thinking about or seeing the clutter.  And the subconscious drain is unbelievable.

So, seriously, I gotta do something about it.  And have even begun already.

The plan:

1. pick a small area to declutter (a drawer, a shelf, a corner, etc)
2. place everything from that small area into a box…or 2….or 3
3. clean off/out the area really good
4. go through the box, one item at a time.  for each item ask:
   • What is it’s Purpose?
   • Do I use it?
     • past 6 months?
     • past year?
     • past 2 years?
   • Do I need it?
     • Why?
     • Is it of good quality, accurate, and/or reliable?
     • Would I buy it again if I didn’t already own it?
     • Could I get it again if I found I really needed it?
   • Do I love it?
     • Does it energize me?
     • Does it soothe me?
     • Does it inspire me?
     • Does it enrich my life?
     • Does it reflect who I am?
     • Does it fit with my own values/needs?
   • Does it have a home?
     • Will not having this help me have a clearer home?
     • Is it’s home more useful for something else?
   • What do I do with it?
     • Put away? (in it’s home)
       • when?
     • Use/Review/Read it?
       • when?
     • File it?
       • when?
     • Fix/Repair it?
       • when?
     • Sell it?
       • when?
     • Give away?
       • when?
     • Throw away?
       • when?
5. Do it, Delegate it, Schedule it, File it, Next Action it.
6. Repeat cycle with another item, another box, another area.

Another thing I’m doing is figuring out what that area is for and what items or types of items would it be a home to.  For example, beside my bed I have a space for my laptop, my phone, my medications, my water, my small electronics (nintendo ds, 1-2 games, mp3 player, headphones), dust mask, tissue box, and wrist guards (worn at night cuz of carpul tunnel).  Habitually I also have portions of various projects piled up all around it until I have to crawl across the bed to get in/out of bed.  This is obviously a major hotspot of mine, and if I allow continuance of doing projects while in bed, then it’ll constantly be a major clutter problem.  (as well as interfering with healthy sleep patterns).  So I’m going to have to start keeping my projects out of the bedroom, period.

And now, I have three big boxes of papers/books/stuff to sort through, knowing that none of it (except for other medications) will be allowed back into that area.  Yikes!!

Hacker Diet Tracker finally catching up *grimace*

The Hacker Diet Weight Tracker thingy is finally catching up to my weight.  To understand that I suppose you’d have to understand how the Hacker Diet Weight Tracker works.

Each day you weight yourself and enter it into the site.  It’s free.  And even the ebook is free to download and if you wanted you could track the weight and do the calculations on paper.  Each day you enter, it does a simple calculation.  Something along the lines of subtracting your trend weight from your daily morning weight.  For every 5 pound difference, it adds/subtracts .1 to the trend weight.

Example:  I hadn’t been keeping up on the daily weight thing and missed nearly a month worth of stuff.  But during that month, I had regained about 4.5 pounds.  So my trend weight was still at 185, but my morning weights when I restarted were about 188.7 or so.  So each day I’d weigh myself this month, the trend weight would slowly increase by .1-.4 lbs as it slowly caught up to my actual morning weight trends.  It takes around 10 or more days to actually catch up.

Meanwhile, however, it’s counting that past month of gain as being this past few weeks of gain.  A month’s worth of gain calculated as 1-2 weeks worth of gain.  Youch.

In essence, it tracks the changes (or lack of change) that occur over the past 7-10 days or so, between the trend weight and the daily entered weight.

However, now it’s finally caught up.

I started my “Unlimited Vegetables & Fruits” thing on Wednesday this past week.  However, we did eat DQ on Friday as well as a 12″ from Subway on Saturday.  So obviously no trend reduction.  But, I spent Friday evening slicing up vegies to make cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, and celery sticks, so that when I feel that need to munch and eat even when I’m not hungry, those will be what I’ll be snacking on without guilt.  (No, no sauce allowed as dip.)

Hmmm, I think I’ll create a page that’ll list my current goals/mantras and update that as it changes.

Habituated to the Internet

There’s a few habits I need to somehow break myself of.  It seems that after my walk, and after my breakfast, I immediately jump onto the computer.  No reason, just habit.  Then I sit there staring at the computer for a few minutes, mind blank.  Part of it is probably also avoiding chores and other boring stuff.  But even at night, when everyone is home, Manta’s on her computer and Richard’s on his, and I immediately grab for mine, but again…nothing I wanna do on it.  Despite the avoidance, I’m pretty sure that most of it is from the past 2 years (has it really been that long???omg!!) spending so much time hanging out on that forum.

Today though, when I unthinkingly opened the lid to the laptop for it to start up and connect to the internet, I immediately put it back down.  I knew I didn’t want to be on the internet.  I had nothing to search for.  No forum to catch up on the latest.  And few friends available at that time of day on the IMs.  So at least I’m recognizing the beginning of the process as it happens.  Now I just gotta figure out what to turn to in place of the computer/internet.

Yuck leads to Goals

Yuck.  This morning’s weigh-in had 189.6 lbs.  Too close to 190 and unacceptable.  It’s time to focus more precisely on weight reduction.  This means giving up something else I was putting time/energy into.  I’ve GOT to get the house decluttered, so that’s gotta stay.  I’ll have to look again into expanding meal making abilities.  I had done really well when i allowed myself unlimited fruits/vegetables, and meals consisted of no grained goods and 2/3rds veg/fruits.  So it looks like I’ll be getting back into that.  I’m hesitant to actually reduce meal amounts, though eventually that’ll have to be done.  I’m thinking of using the small plate, and allowing seconds if i’m hungry…or for later.  I’m torn on the intuitive eating thing.  The concept is great, but when I had actually put it into practice, things became a lot harder for me.  I mean, I still fix meals based on my mood and what seems appealing atm, but i feel that i need to reduce the amount of meats i was eating, and get back into the swing of eating more vegetables/fruits.  Which, by focusing on that, goes against intuitive eating.  But honestly, i just don’t think my body is ready for intuitive eating yet.  However, I believe that I’ll put more focus again on the “food is for fuel, not waist” mantra.

On the plus side, I did finally talk again with Richard about the eating in front of the TV issue.  So now meal times will be for fuel, and tv time will be for entertainment, and fuel and entertainment won’t be mixing.

We’ve been eating a lot of popcorn lately.  It’s a good snack food, when craving crunch.  But I’m considering pulling out the air popper and mixing in plain unbuttered unsalted popped corn with the stuff we get in the bags.  That way, we’ll (or at least I’ll) still get some flavor in, but more bulk than flavor/fat calories.  Not sure on this one yet, though.  Heheheh.

Exercise-wise, the weather is beginning to change.  Winds and rains will be hitting us soon, but with some decent weather in between as well.  I’ve already started picking up walking again, but I think I’ll start using the pedometer and setting step-goals as well.  When the weather is warmer and less rains/cold, then I’ll pick up cycling.  For now, walking and basic strength.

I’m no longer at that forum, so that should hopefully allow me more time for things like the music and writing.  As well as less escapism.  However, music and writing will have to be held off if they interfere with my focus on the weight reduction, eating habits, and fitness efforts.  They shouldn’t.  I mean, I got virtually all of the research aspects done already.  I’ve got some good improv/composition books to follow  (though one set does not at all translate into guitar).  And I’ve got some darned good writing notes in my writing portfolio pad thingy.  So for each of those, it’s just a matter of picking up the pen/guitar and following the next action for them.

I’ll probably have to find my old notes for FlyLady, and create a FlyLady portfolio pad thingy.  I’ll need help for getting the house decluttered and cleaned.  But with a daily checklist, that should be easier to deal with.  As long as I don’t overwhelm myself.

So, I guess that’s everything.

• weight reduction
  • unlimited vegetables and fruits
  • small plate servings with options for 2nds
  • 2/3rd plate of vegetables/fruits; 1/3 plate of protein
  • food is for fuel not waist (nor entertainment)
  • expanding meal-making abilities/options
  • multi-vitamins
  • pedometer walking goals
  • basic strength and fitness
  • fun physical activities
• Home decluttering and cleaning
  • FlyLady’d checklists
• Writing & Music, maybe finishing off some Games

My First Composition

Today I finally began looking through the first book of one of the beginner’s composition workbooks I‘d picked up from the music store.  The set is called “Music by Me:  A Composition Workbook:  Book One” by Kevin Olson and Wynn-Anne Rossi.  The first lesson has you putting rhythms to words and/or simple phrases, then mixing and matching those words in an improvisation and/or composition.  The second lesson goes into simple melodies in terms of pitches can go up, down, or stay the same on the next note.

Well, I had intended to stick with practicing the first lesson.  I’m trying to keep things in order without jumping around and such.  But I did read ahead *clears throat*.  Anyways, so I sat down with my guitar and began putting rhythm to words, picking and choosing which rhythms I liked most with which words.  Then I played a couple of words after another set of words, but used a different tone.  Then I forgot all about the lesson as I began playing with rhythm and words and one stringed notes until I came up with the following composition.  It’s my first time notating like this.  I was unfamiliar with the notating program (TablEdit), so the notating isn’t all that great.  But if you play a quarter note to about the tempo of 200, then you can get pretty close to what I did.  Also, at the end, there is a longer hold on ‘est’ of Forest, and a longer hold on the ‘love’, with a longer pause right after ‘love’.

Now, lets see if I can remember how to upload an image into this blog….

 

Wow, that came out looking like crap!

Ok, how about inserting an image from photobucket?

I’m still not happy with it.  I’ll have to play around with that a bit more another time.  (When I have something better to show, lol.)

Warmer Weather and Hills That Aren’t There

The heavy winds came last night, bringing with it slightly warmer weather and warmer rains.  Hopefully no more icy rains nor hail for this winter.

As promised to myself, I did go for a walk.  I went the long block (which is actually going around 3 1/2 blocks each).  Towards about 3/4 of the way through, there is a pretty steep hill to climb, but it’s a rather short hill.  Going up it, sometimes my legs get tired, sometimes my chest hurts, most the times my heartrate and breathing rate have increased big time.  I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it, but I’d have to face it or a worse one if I wanted to get home.  Finally I came out of my thoughts and was surprised to discover that I had passed the hill already.  I checked my heart/breathing rates…they seemed normal for a fairly long walk, my legs weren’t sore, and no pain anywhere.  Wow!!  It’d be nice if that turned out to be a regular thing.  Oh, and my back didn’t hurt during nor after!!!

It did rain softly throughout most of the walk, but not windy like it was last night and this morning.  It’s raining heavy now, though.  But I feel good, proud of myself for carrying through with the plan that once the weather clears up of snow then I’d start walking again.  So now, the question is….how long can I keep this going??

Sleep, Mail, and Plans

Yes!  I finally got a relatively good night’s sleep last night.  Had Richard use the anti-snore nose tape stuff, and I used the Melatonin again.  Dreams didn’t make much sense, and there was still some tossing and turning, but altogether, I feel much better with the sleep I’ve finally gotten.

Yesterday I was expecting a book in the mail.  “Building Rock Bass Lines” by Ed Friedland.  I checked the mail at about 2pm…nothing.  I checked it again at about 3:30pm.  There was a postcard type thingy.  So obviously the mail came…but without my book.    Then this morning I checked the online tracking of it, and it said that it had been delivered at 6:33pm last night.  WHAT???  So I went out to the porch and looked around to see where the package might be…nothing.  I glanced over at both of my neighbor’s porches and saw…nothing.  Then, in frustration I went to check the mailbox again (which is across the street).  There, hanging in a bag off of my mailbox was the book in it’s package, in a bag to protect it from the weather.  Um, ok.  I dunno what happened.  Maybe if I see the mail lady today I’ll ask her.

The snow is melting thanks to the rains that came last night.  The streets are clear and so is a lot of ground.  Alas, the wind is strong and Cold!  I’m considering going around the block in a bit, before breakfast.  With changing weather I want to get back into the habit of walking again.  I know I won’t see 180 by my birthday, but I intend to see at least 20 less than that by the end of summer.

I’ve gotta do some serious planning for a few things for the next two seasons:  weight reduction, guitar/music learning, story-making, house decluttering, etc.  Ugh.