It’s amazing how engrained some concepts can get into one’s head, and how difficult it can be to get it out, break it up.
Part of me feels as if something is wrong with the dispersed/directed part…’because it doesn’t lead to Fire, Air, Earth, Water’ and all that those interpretations have been said to lead to. While I know that there is got to be a better something to cover the dispersed/directed part, I’m more bugged by that part of me that wants to bring it into alignment with the “wet/dry” thing, when that’s not particularly relevant to what I’m aiming for.
It’s like a path that the mind is so used to taking, that is well cut, maybe even paved, but it’s not taking you in the direction you want to go in. In fact, it’s taking you away from where you want to go. But you can’t find a road that will take you where you want to go. Nor do you have the tools, really, to make a new path, even a simple one. All you’ve got is a pocket knife and your own body/will. Well, and your mind too, but since really I’m describing Me, then we already get the idea that the mind (and will) are relatively weak for this particular job, heh.
Basically, I’m irritated that I keep ‘blindly accepting’ someone else’s system instead of figuring out my own ideas. Worse: never really knowing how to communicate what are my own ideas.
