So, yet again, despite the best intentions, despite the desires to do so, I again failed to do any of my goals. My excuses?
T-tapp makes me so sore on mondays that it takes me close to a week to recover from the soreness, so I’ve only been doing that once a week. (grr at me) Also, I dislike having to watch the dvd every time I want to do it. (time to actually learn/memorize the exercises?? probably)
Cartomancy card meanings seem way arbitrary to me, and yes, numerology meanings just don’t make much sense to me, I keep feeling as if some things are being left out. So I’ve spent day after day all freaking day trying to find something that I like, or trying to figure out how to modify a system into something I can stand. But honestly, I just really really suck at being able to do that. All that mental work and effort encourages laziness in body, as well as over-eating. It’s like, the more I have to think about things, the more I have to analyze and systematize, etc, the more I want to just shove a bunch of food into my mouth.
Clutter clearing of course has taken a back seat to everything else. I love a clean home, don’t get me wrong. I day dream of having a clear home. The feeling of peace such a thing would offer is….drool worthy. But… of course… i hate the actual cleaning and clearing aspects of it. Decluttering, having to think about what goes, what stays, and where to put it…that’s another thing that encourages shoving a bunch of food into my mouth.
So, likely excuses eh? argh!! I seriously need to get my act together.
Ok, so Ttapp… I need to develop the habit of exercising a bit every day. If I do the whole first part of the basic workout, then I can’t get myself to do anything until around Saturday. So maybe, if I stick with some of the more important moves for now, I can slowly add some on. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, “with t-tapp, less is more” (said in a perky voice). T-tapp says, do a bootcamp (4-14 days straight), then every other day, then eventually twice a week, then down to once a week for maintenance. But there’s more that I’m working on than just my body. I’m having to work with my mind and habitual patterns as well. So I think I’ll do
- Organ’s in Place (am)
- Primary Back Stretch (getting to see the video helped a LOT) (am)
- Hoe Downs (am)
- Hoe Downs (after every meal and every snack)
- Maybe 1-2 other exercises as I learn them enough to do by memory
As for Cartomancy? I’ve order a book “It’s All in the Cards” by Chita Lawrence. It should be in on Wednesday. I’ve heard good things about it. But I wanted to check it out as well. So it’s possible that my mind will fragment again when I read it, and that means getting side tracked without any direction. However, I’m pretty sure that I’m just going to have to create my own symbol system, my own set of artchetypes, basing things on my own perceptions and ideas rather than someone else’s. Today I am going to ‘pack up’ the papers and notes I have regarding cartomancy and box them away into the other room. I’ll keep the Athiest Tarot since that is the one that I like so much (picture and organization wise) despite the desire to modify it’s meanings. It’ll give me a guideline to follow as I create my own.
And as for clearing up my home? Hopefully if my mind is focused on just one mental activity, and a minimal set of exercises, then I’ll have enough energy (mental and physical) to clear up at least one area/box or even half a box, a day.
Diet wise, I’ll make some vegie sticks today for snack foods for the week. And I’m thinking about starting a list of easy to make meals so that I don’t have to think about cooking every day, I can just get into a habit of making one of the pre’designed’ meals. Over time those meals can be modified or removed for more healthy meals. But for now, I’m just really hating having to figure it out every day and berating myself for not being more creative with meals and for not making healthy meals cuz i just want something quick and that I don’t have to think about, etc. Richard doesn’t mind repetitions. I don’t mind repetitions meal-wise, particularly not when I’m the one having to cook it. I just don’t want to have to put a lot of thought into it. Seriously, that mental energy can be utilized elsewhere.
Oh, and I’m also working on the exercises from some book…I’ll get the title later, but it’s something like “the power of words” or such. It goes into the language we use when we think/talk about things and how that can be limiting or powerful, depending on what words we use. I figure one exercise or section a week should be plenty. This week involves making decisions based on a quick spontaneous rating of whether something is good for me to do or not. For example, i’m thinking of food, would it be good for me to drive to the shell station to get some deli food? 3 (1-5 means no, 6-10 means yes, higher numbers win) would it be good for me to go to big al’s to get a slice of pizza? 5 would it be good for me to find something to eat from home? 7 would it be good for me to make a pb&j sandwich (4) or a chef-type salad (9).
Interestingly enough, making decisions this way, by the time I’m getting some higher numbers, I’m feeling more positive and upbeat about my decision, and more motivated to take action in that direction. As everything else, it’ll take some practice and reminding myself to do it, before it becomes habitual, common, and without thought.
